Pillow TalkⓇ - Questions and Answers About Sleep

Questions and Answers About Sleep

I'm wondering if anyone else has a supportive argument about parents routinely sleeping with their kids. I have an 8 yr. old daughter, whose father has routinely slept with her to get her to go to sleep. This was an ongoing issue between us, when we were married (obviously I disagree) and it still is, even more so now that we're divorced. I believe that kids should be able to put themselves to sleep. I believe that kids that can put themselves to sleep are more secure, confident, and more independent. My daughter, however, begs for me to sleep with her or begs for her to sleep with me and I don't condone this. In return, she will defy me until 2 or 3 in the morning. These two lifestyles of nighttime behavior is damaging to her, this I know. I just don't know how I can get the courts to decide what's best for her and how to get a court or judge to side with my parenting. Did I mention that she's also a severe case of ADHD and taking medication regularly for that as well. I also believe that she needs more stability and routine than most kids because of her condition. If anyone has any similar dealings with their children, I'm open for some input or opinions on how to handle this.

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My son also afraid to sleep alone.We can sleep with them until they request themself ..actually our Asia country will sleep with our children until 10-14 tears old..
sorry - maybe making child more comfortable in their own room and reading to them before bedtime until they sleep. Make their own space special to them (stars on ceiling, etc), nightlight, music on softly. Then tell them out grown-up you think they are. This usually helps.
I need some help, Let me try to explain this is detail..my boyfriend and i of 18 months now live together. he has a six year old daughter, and his divorce isnt final yet, her mother has always since she was born has slept with her, the little girl has just started coming over and spending the night for about two months now..Her mother has it in her head that she needs to share a bed with her dad..she has her own room here at my place i have 3 teenagers who never slept with me,i dont know if there r even laws in missouri about this, even if there isnt a law i still think its wrong a child this age should have her own room, we put her to bed and then about 3 am she gets into ours i dont like that either, so her mom says her dad needs to sleep with her when shes here, i think she needs to be broken from this habit
This sounds like my life! It's finally nice to know there are others out there with this problem! I have been living with my boyfriend for 3 months. He has a daughter from his previous marriage who is 4 1/2 years old. I have a daughter from my previous relationship who is 2 1/2 yrs old. At the beginning of our relationship my boyfriend tried getting his daughter to sleep in her new bed. Well needless to say that was the end of that. My boyfriend has 50/50 custody of his daughter and so we get her around 3-4 nights a week. Well when she is over I am fortunate to get to sleep either on the couch or in his daughters full size bed so she can sleep with Daddy!!! This has really put a burden on our relationship. I finally confronted him about it last week and it ended up being a very big argument he got very defensive and started saying nasty mean things to me. He stated him and his daughter "haven't gotten to that point yet" of her sleeping in her own bed! So where does that put me in the relationship???!! His daughter already dislikes me and has no respect for me or my daughter. My daughter who is 2 of course sleeps in her own bed every night without a peep! So after the argument he appologized and explained he would 'work' on this with his daughter. Well last night and three other times since then I've been on the couch - he's completely avoided the subject and acts like it never happened!! I don't know what to do!

As a daycare provider and a mom, I don't condone co-sleeping, especially at this age.  She does need to learn to quiet herself.  But 8 years old is a tough age for a child to be able to control herself.  I might lay with her in her bed, tell her it will be for 10 or 15 mins, and then she needs to sleep on her own.  Or maybe start even farther and say you will stay till she falls asleep for 1 week and the next week stay for 30 mins and the next 20 and so on.???  Definitely need to be on the same page with Dad though, I would consider family counseling to help come up with a healthy routine you both can follow. 


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